Therapy for Teens Wearing the Mask of “Fine”
You Lie Awake With a Worry Nobody Else Sees
Once the house goes dark, you’re lying awake with your child on your mind again.
Teachers, coaches and other parents keep telling you your teen is doing great.
You can feel the turmoil moving under the surface anyway.
Every compliment from another adult leaves you a little more alone with what you know.
Your Teen Answers to Expectations Nobody Else Holds
The pressure your teen lives under comes from standards they set for themselves, ones nobody around them is asking them to meet.
Those standards tend to multiply quietly, until every small miss feels like proof of something.
For a teen holding standards like these, asking for help looks like one more miss.
You’re one of the few people close enough to feel what it costs them.
Count Every Way You’ve Already Reached for Them
Asking them to talk, making room for them to share, offering the wisdom you earned at their age to spare them some stress: you’ve tried all of it.
You’ve even gone to your own therapy to become a better parent for them.
Every one of those efforts comes from love.
Your effort matters even more once your teen has a place of their own to find the words.
Let Your Teen Meet the Worry as a Character
With narrative therapy, your teen creates a character to stand for the anxious or low feelings and brings it to life.
Once that character is sitting across from them, your teen can argue with it, question it and even poke fun at it.
Some teens borrow from a movie like Inside Out to get started.
Watch Humor Loosen the Pressure
Laughter belongs in this work, because a thought your teen can laugh at is a thought they can question.
Your teen practices catching a first thought, smiling at how dramatic it sounds and choosing one that works better for them.
Each choice like that gives your teen a little more say in how their story goes.
Bring Your Teen Back to This Moment
Mindfulness gives your teen simple ways to come back to this hour, the person in front of them and the next breath.
Regretting what already happened tends to feed depression.
Worrying about what hasn’t happened yet tends to feed anxiety.
The more time your teen spends right here, the less hold either one has.
Listen for Your Teen’s Laugh After Dark
This work aims to help you see your child again: laughing, spending time with friends and enjoying their life.
Picture an ordinary night when the last sound before the house goes quiet is your teen laughing with a friend on the phone.
You lie there a while longer.
This time, your mind wanders to plans for the weekend.
You Are Important to This Story
The work goes best when your teen is at least a little willing to try and you stay available to keep talking with me along the way.
Your teen will need to hear about your own struggles and efforts, the real ones, as proof that trying can be messy.
With your encouragement, your teen has somewhere to land while trying new things.
Teen work with me typically runs a few months, on your teen’s timeline.
Help Your Teen Write the Next Chapter
You can choose a consult time tonight, on your own.
I see teens online throughout California.
In a free consultation, we’ll figure out exactly how I can help your teen write this next chapter.
Reach me at (626) 780-7158 or strengththrubalance@gmail.com, and start with the teen you’ve been lying awake for.
Let’s Get Started
Let’s get started in finding the balance between your struggles in life so that you can begin to feel the benefits of creating and nurturing the strength within you.
Let’s Get Started